ARLINGTON, Texas—When people picture a military veteran, they often imagine a man—older, rugged, tough, the quintessential soldier who is returning from war.
What they don’t picture is someone like Wilson—a young woman, now out of the Navy, having to attend therapy for her depression and anxiety. (The Arlington Sentinel is using the pseudonym Wilson to protect her identity.)
Wilson’s story is not unique, but it is jarring.
After being sexually assaulted during her service, she says the pain wasn’t just the incident itself, but the fight that followed—not for justice, but to receive help.
At her base in California, she recalled being told her symptoms couldn’t be diagnosed as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, not because it didn’t meet the criteria, but because an order had been issued down the chain of command: “Don’t diagnose them.”
“You’re not just fighting for your case,” Wilson said. “You’re fighting for your care.”
Her experience highlights a refusal to call trauma by its name and address the problem head-on. It is just one example of the mental health crisis many veterans face—men and women alike—after they leave the structured world of the military. But what makes her case more alarming is how invisible it often is, as it hides beneath stereotypes, stigmas and silence.
When the Uniform Comes Off
For many veterans, the first day out of the military is a moment they never forget – and not for the reason most people might think. While it might look like freedom for most, the feeling of confusion, disorientation and sometimes fear hits all at once.
When new recruits join the military, they are systematically torn down–physically, emotionally and mentally—and then rebuilt into what the military needs them to be. Every day is structured for everyone, a process that ensures all members do the same things, so no one stands out. It’s a rigid system built for efficiency and discipline. But when the uniform comes off for good, that structure vanishes, causing a sense of lost identity.
“You have to realize that the military is very structured,” said Joseph Carpenter, an oral historian at the University of Texas at Arlington and a veteran. “You wear the same clothes, you eat at a certain time, you’re expected to be somewhere at a certain time. It’s very prescribed.”
Carpenter compares the structured lifestyle as that of a horse that’s spent its life roaming inside a fenced field. Once the fence is removed, the horse doesn’t know where to go.
The challenge becomes even more apparent when veterans enter an unstructured environment like that of higher education. Dr. Edward King Sr., the program director for the UTA Military and Veterans Services and a veteran, said the mental hurdle of adapting to civilian learning environments can be immense.
“You have separation anxiety, and now you’re going into this environment of higher education where you’re uncomfortable, so that heightens your anxiety,” King said. “You like to be well prepared for most things, because you have a game plan for everything because that’s how we function. And to not have a game plan, can you imagine walking into a classroom and you have a professor that doesn’t provide a sound structure?”
This sudden lack of structure leaves many veterans feeling unprepared for a world that doesn’t follow the same rules they once lived by.
Losing the Unit, Losing the Family
Beyond structure, one of the most deeply felt losses for veterans is that of a community that understands them. The military is not just a job—it’s a family. You spend much of your time alongside the same people, and when you return to civilian life, that camaraderie disappears.
“A lot of people are searching for connections,” said Arington Vet Center Director and veteran Joel Chaverri. “They don’t know exactly where to find it. Most people don’t necessarily need a diagnosis to get help. They just want to talk and have someone listen.”
Chaverri pointed to the strong camaraderie forged within the military—bond built on shared sacrifices and a common purpose. When those bonds are broken, many veterans are left feeling lost and alone, surrounded by people who don’t understand them.
Carpenter echoed this sense of isolation.
“That sense of community, that sense of belonging, you experience good times and bad times. But you do it together, and it’s like a family in a lot of ways,” he said.
This disconnect affects more than just relationships with fellow service members—it can also impact the families of veterans. Many partners and relatives assume that if they’re supportive and talk to them, things will be easier for the veteran. But reintegration is rarely that simple, with many loved ones not understanding the magnitude of the shift being made by the veteran.
“They need to understand that it’s difficult,” Carpenter said. “It’s disorienting. A family that will listen rather than assume and that recognizes this isn’t just a job change—that’s what makes for a successful transition.”
Without that understanding, veterans often find themselves alone even in their own homes, with no one to talk to and no space to process their emotions.
In the 2024 annual report done by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, suicide was the 12th leading cause of death in the year 2022 and the second leading cause for veterans under the age of 45. Those numbers increased each year since 2001 until the years of 2021 and 2022, when suicide rates for female veterans and veterans under the age of 34 decreased. Along with suicide rates for veterans in Veterans Health Administration care, diagnoses of anxiety, depression, PTSD and alcohol use disorder all fell in 2022.
Stigma in Silence
Perhaps the most stubborn barrier veterans face is the stigma surrounding mental health. In a culture that valorizes toughness, asking for help has been seen as a weakness.
It’s not uncommon to hear a veteran say something like, “I don’t want to see a counselor. I can handle it on my own.”
Chaverri said he hears this being said more times than he’d like.
“There’s this stigma that going to counseling demonstrates weakness,” Chaverri said. “That’s wrong. It takes strength.”
This stigma is not just social—it can be institutional. Wilson said she wasn’t only battling depression and trauma but a system that actively discouraged her from seeking help.
“You’d have people needing care—like me, trying to commit suicide—and then you’re fighting with a therapist about what your diagnosis is,” she said. “You just feel like you’re getting slapped in the face.”
For Wilson, the trauma didn’t end with assault. The greater harm came from the events that followed. The refusal to acknowledge what had happened and the system’s unwillingness to provide help added to Wilson’s injuries.
“A traumatic incident is traumatic, but it’s usually not the event itself that causes the most trauma,” Wilson said. “It’s the events surrounding it and after it.”
Wilson has been able to find a therapist who she has continued scheduling with for the past two years. She said she hopes more people will accept help and not dismiss medication.
“For some people, they are going to need it for the rest of their lives, like me,” she said. “I am at peace with that. Some people, it’s just a band aid while they work on everything, but people I know kind of dismiss it even when you’re first transitioning.”
Today, Wilson said she has come to accept the incident and has tried to move on with her life for the better. While proud of serving, Wilson said she doesn’t want to remain in place by telling her stories to everyone she meets. Instead, she wants to move on in her social work career.
The reality is that for many veterans, war doesn’t end when they return home. It continues in a quiet, inner battle. The transition to civilian life is often painted as a return to normal, but for many it’s the start of a new kind of battle.
There is no single solution, but it begins with understanding and recognizing that beneath the uniform was a person shaped—and sometimes scarred—by their service. And when that uniform comes off, they need support and awareness from the community around them to heal. Efforts by both the Arlington Vet Center and the UTA Military and Veteran Services to help veterans continue to be their focal point while attempting to remove the stigma surrounding mental health in the military.
